Ejaculation matter: How quick is too quick?

Tuoyo Emmanuel Ajuyah
Tuoyo Emmanuel Ajuyah
10 Min Read

Poor men; A man has quite a lot to worry about nowadays; the fears that are glaring as well as those that are not, concrete fears as well as those unfounded. A man’s headache starts right from career choice to getting into and graduating from school, getting a job and staying on it, picking the right woman, paying house rent sandwiched by other domestic maintenance bills, before long children’s school fees, health expenses, extended family expenses and in special cases there can also be special expenses but inspite of all these the average man still his performance in the bed as another major worry.

No thanks to some unrealistic and insensitive ladies who want their men to be supermen seven days a week probably influenced by porns and movies, not taking to heart that what you see Antonio Banderas do in the movies is not what he does at home every night. I once read about a woman complaining that her man doesn’t last beyond ten minutes in bed and was seeking counsel but right there in response other ladies were ready to swap her man with theirs, she probably was dreaming of a man who would ride all night before ejaculation, I am sure this Alice stayed in wonderland.

Expectations like this have drawn our men into drinking all sorts and making all manner of sacrifices just to increase the minutes they stay before ejaculation, I once worked in an offshore location where I saw men scurrying for a vegetable they called obukuyeke and when I asked why men were eating leaves like goats they said it cures quick ejaculation because it makes them last long ‘on top of a woman’ meanwhile they already had bottles of various bitters that they would drink on the eve of their time-off, other manners of sacrifices were also made including avoiding cold water and anything that had the slightest taste of sugar and ‘Alice’ is not even aware of these investments.

Quick ejaculation is the ejaculation (the release of sperm from the penis after sexual arousal and erection) that occurs before it is desired. During sexual intercourse, semen collects in the ejaculatory ducts and when stimulation reaches its peak, the contractions of the smooth muscles within the urethra, penis and the prostate gland propels the semen through the urethra out of the tip of the penis in spurts. After the orgasm which usually leads to ejaculation most men experience what is called a retraction period which is a time when they cannot achieve another erection so when the ejaculation occurs before either or both partner has attained satisfaction, this feeling of dissatisfaction usually in the women and feeling of inadequacy in men makes quick ejaculation somewhat like a nightmare.

As serious as it is, there is no official time frame to mark ejaculation as normal or quick/premature, even though Most ladies will claim to be okay in ten minutes some others will say five is perfect and then we still have the ‘Alice’s of this world (or of wonderland) who will run to her counsellor for help when she gets ten minutes of her man’s stick so I think the time frame for a normal ejaculation should be defined by every couple which is not fixed but when the satisfaction comes.

Really, the sweetness of sex is not necessarily in the length of time but the quality gotten in the given time, in other words good sex is not a matter of quantity but a matter of quality. The first thing to do as steps to satisfying your woman should be how to master your foreplay before intercourse. It is not a business that is straight to the point, as a matter of fact you need to spend more time before intercourse than during it, play like that even when she is wet she might not necessarily be ready it is even advisable for you to wait until she cannot wait to have you in. At this point even two to three minutes of intercourse would leave her begging for mercy.

After this is said and done, the next step; at one time or the other every man reaches orgasm and ejaculates before he would like to, so there is also a step which deals with increase in the time you can stay strong but like I said earlier lasting long is not equal to giving good sex, extra-ordinarily long sex can be a curse rather than a blessing as it could leave bruises and sores with pains that will last when the pleasure is no longer appreciated.

But if Alice is Alice and wants you to be an Antonio, there are things to do that could help transform you. The first is the Physiological improvement- the mere thought that you are unable to satisfy your woman can make you ejaculate even quicker than you ever feared, you need to deceive yourself that you are Antonio, it is not as easy as that but you need to relax yourself a little. A lot of men find that they get very excited and aroused because they have a scarcity mentality around sex – in other words they fear they are not going to get enough of it. However the anxiety and agitation that such an attitude induces is not conducive to lasting longer in bed.

You will need to be in control of your mind or may have to distract yourself from what you are doing especially when you feel the pressure is on, this can help you delay ejaculation. Changing positions could also provide the needed distractions and when you stick to a position it should be a position that does not put much muscular stress on you, positions which build up tension in the body will cause you to reach orgasm faster, because they contribute to the build-up of muscular tension that’s an essential part of orgasmic release. So for example, the man on top position is particularly bad for men who want to control premature ejaculation, because the fact that you have to support yourself on your arms increases tension in almost all the upper part of the body. A much better sexual position for overcoming a quick ejaculation is woman on top.

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Another way to take the pressure off you is by taking deep breaths frequently as you become more aroused. Inhale through the nose and exhale through the mouth. Although this sounds simple, deep breathing is an effective technique that will dissipate tension in the body, the gradual build-up of physical tension and its explosive release in orgasm is the fundamental physical change that takes place in the body during sex.

The “start and stop” method is another technique to try. When you have come close to the point of ejaculation, stop thrusting, you can pull completely out of the vagina if you have to, then find other ways to stimulate your partner until the feeling of coming too soon has passed, then you can pick up where you left off. There is nothing wrong with a little teasing; it keeps the sex more exciting.

Apart from preventing unwanted pregnancies and STDs another unsung benefit of wearing a condom is the prevention of quick ejaculation, you will enjoy intercourse just the same, but you will receive less stimulation when you wear a condom thereby decreasing the risk of ejaculating too early.

Finally, know that what you eat or drink could also be a contributing factor, Stimulants such as caffeine (present in energy drinks and others) help to raise arousal levels whereas to prolong sex you need not to be too excited too soon. Overcoming quick ejaculation is partly about calming down and slowing down so it makes sense to limit your intake of anything that speeds you up.

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